I had an uncle who was fond of playing a game with our large brood of cousins. He’d stare stone-faced at one of us and ask, with all apparent seriousness, “Tu eres bobo?” Which loosely translated is, “Are you an idiot?” The older children (former victims all) would chuckle at the scene of a younger one caught in the trap of a double bind. Standing stiff and nervous, feeling trapped though unsure why, the child would nervously struggle to answer the question, certain that neither a “yes” or a “no” would offer an escape from embarrassment.
One of the most devilishly ingenious emotional process messages is that of the “double bind.†The Double Bind is “based on paradox turned to contradiction†and often serves the function of binding people emotionally in an unhealthy and anxious way. It can be used to keep people stuck, confused, dependent, or helpless. Continue reading
