Functioning at one’s best

Posted on November 11, 2008 by Israel Galindo

I received an interesting question about Bowen’s concept of self-differentiation. The question, an imaginative one, was “what if” some day scientists discovered a “differentiation gene.” It was fun to ponder, but, genes don’t work that way. More to the point, however, differentiation is a product of relationships in a system, the evidence of which is how one functions. If we were to go down the gene therapy route, or more specifically, the biological engineering route related to BFST, then a more likely focus would be how to lower anxiety. And we already have medication for that. Continue reading →

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Why triangles are “bad”

Posted on November 10, 2008 by Israel Galindo

One misunderstanding about basic concepts of Bowen Family Systems theory has to do with assigning value statements. For example, the notion that overfunctioning is “bad.” Overfunctioning, like other behaviors are not “bad” or “good,” they are merely functions, symptoms, or manifestations of emotional process played out in the way people relate to one another. This is why it’s more helpful to observe function in the system than it is to assign motives to people’s behaviors. Continue reading →

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If it’s a choice between…

Posted on November 5, 2008 by Israel Galindo

Self-differentiation is all about functioning. One manifestation of the extent to which one is functioning in a self-differentiated manner is how well one can separate feeling from thinking. I recently consulted with a normally steady and effective staff person who found herself stuck on a particular issue. In this case she knew the right thing to do, and was able to quote the company guidelines that needed to direct her action, yet, she was second guessing herself. Continue reading →

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50 skills every pastoral leader needs to have

Posted on November 4, 2008 by Israel Galindo

I recently read an online article along the lines of “10 Skills Every Man Should Have.” I was pleased that I had them all (although it’s been a while since I’ve had the need to weld anything). I wondered what a list of “50 Skills Every Pastoral Leader Needs to Have” would look like. Here’s my list: Continue reading →

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How people stay stuck

Posted on November 3, 2008 by Israel Galindo

I’ve been observing several persons in the process of making decisions. Some of the decisions are personal in nature (quitting one job to take another, ending or starting a relationship, going back to school, moving). Others pertain to leaders making organizational or institutional decisions (dealing with employees, closing a program, dealing with a crisis). In only a few of those instances have I observed persons making quick and decisive choices from several options and then moving toward a new direction. Most people struggle through a long winding, angst-filled process of uncertainty and indecision before achieving resolution and finding direction. Most can’t identify their options, much less come up with new ones. Continue reading →

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The Myth of Competence

Posted on October 30, 2008 by Israel Galindo

Some years ago I did a presentation titled “The Myth of Competence.” It developed out of my observation that so many leaders live under a crushing load of performance-anxiety and a frame of mind I called the myth of competence. Here’s the working definition of the concept: Continue reading →

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”Everything takes five years”

Posted on October 29, 2008 by Israel Galindo

These past few weeks I’ve had ocassion to be reminded of what my friend Margaret says about bringing about change in congregations, which is, ”Everything takes five years.” While that’s a bit tounge-in-cheek, it’s not far from the truth. Over the past four weeks I’ve had casual conversations with as many church leaders related to how long it takes to get things done in congregations. Each highlighted a different aspect of the dynamic. Continue reading →

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“I don’t want to do that.”

Posted on October 28, 2008 by Israel Galindo

I was intrigued by overhearing a common phrase last week. Overheard several times was the phrase, “I don’t want to do that.” It’s a common enough phrase (anyone who has ever had a three or four year old around the house has heard a variation of that uttered hundreds of times). What intrigued me was that while the content was the same, the context and source related to where and who uttered that phrase made a world of difference. It was a good example of the importance of focusing on process and not content. Continue reading →

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How to learn BFST

Posted on October 27, 2008 by Israel Galindo

I received an e-mail from a friend who has been studying Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) for the past few years. He has been reading the literature, asking good questions, and at one point sought out a therapist to serve as a “systems coach.” In his email he expressed desire to continue studying, and his question hinted that he’s hit a plateau in his learning—not uncommon in any learning enterprise. Continue reading →

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Posted on October 24, 2008 by Israel Galindo

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