Category Archives: leadership

Thoughts on leadership

Why triangles are “bad”

One misunderstanding about basic concepts of Bowen Family Systems theory has to do with assigning value statements. For example, the notion that overfunctioning is “bad.” Overfunctioning, like other behaviors are not “bad” or “good,” they are merely functions, symptoms, or … Continue reading

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If it’s a choice between…

Self-differentiation is all about functioning. One manifestation of the extent to which one is functioning in a self-differentiated manner is how well one can separate feeling from thinking. I recently consulted with a normally steady and effective staff person who … Continue reading

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50 skills every pastoral leader needs to have

I recently read an online article along the lines of “10 Skills Every Man Should Have.” I was pleased that I had them all (although it’s been a while since I’ve had the need to weld anything). I wondered what … Continue reading

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How people stay stuck

I’ve been observing several persons in the process of making decisions. Some of the decisions are personal in nature (quitting one job to take another, ending or starting a relationship, going back to school, moving). Others pertain to leaders making … Continue reading

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The Myth of Competence

Some years ago I did a presentation titled “The Myth of Competence.” It developed out of my observation that so many leaders live under a crushing load of performance-anxiety and a frame of mind I called the myth of competence. … Continue reading

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”Everything takes five years”

These past few weeks I’ve had ocassion to be reminded of what my friend Margaret says about bringing about change in congregations, which is, ”Everything takes five years.” While that’s a bit tounge-in-cheek, it’s not far from the truth. Over … Continue reading

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How to learn BFST

I received an e-mail from a friend who has been studying Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) for the past few years. He has been reading the literature, asking good questions, and at one point sought out a therapist to serve … Continue reading

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A list of names

At a recent workshop with a group of ministers from another denomination I asked the participants to introduce themselves and include in their introduction information about their context. When describing their context all participants shared the membership size of their … Continue reading

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The theory of hype

Cleaning out some files I came across a listing of some businesses I’d done consultations for some years ago. The list was from the early nineties when I was doing more consultations with businesses and corporations than I do now. … Continue reading

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Novelty, reflection, and learning

I’ve observed that most folks settle into a professional routine (a rut, really) that intersects with the achievement of a certain level of competence. Once they learn the job and find efficient (if not effective) ways of doing it, they’ll … Continue reading

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