We continue the series on basic concepts in Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). Today’s question:How does our family of origin influence how we function in triangles?
We acquire our patterns of functioning in relationships, assumptions about people, and our repertoire for handing anxiety in the patterns, and relationship triangles, in our family of origin. Those patterns tend to be with us forever.
Our greatest challenges related to triangles have to do with changing the patterned behaviors we learned in our family of origins—outgrowing some, adopting new ones, reinterpreting our experiences of the triangulating dynamics, etc. This is easier said than done. We can all admit how some of the patterns of our family of origin, including triangles, get replicated automatically in our own established families—with spouses, children, even with children-in-laws. What parent, upon hearing what has come out of their mouth after an altercation with a child, not found themselves crying, “Oh, my Heavens! I’ve turned into my father/mother!”
From, Perspectives on Congregational Leadership: Applying Systems Theory for Effective Leadership, by Israel Galindo. See the new Perspectives on Congregational Leadership blog site.
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