Some time ago someone sent me an e-mail asking for advice on a matter. I wrote back saying, “I don’t give advice,” though I did provide some resources related to the question. Later, this person asked me to explain what I meant when I said I don’t give advice, especially given that he knew I did consulting. “Isn’t that what consultants do?” he asked.
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The Bowen theory concept of multigenerational transmission in families, although often difficult to accept, is logically appreciated. Families pass along habits, traditions, beliefs, grudges, feuds, genes, and emotional process down the generations. That force can be as powerful as a tidal wave, or as subtle, though influential as an undercurrent. Most of us can readily appreciate how past generations affect contemporary family systems and the individuals in it.
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Leaders approach their work in many ways. They use various frames of references to inform how they go about their work. Some, for instance, focus on the concept of “leadership style.” Others lean toward the leader-as-manager approach while others take the leader-as-visionary track. We can also talk about the “job” of the leader, or, the task, function, role, work, position, mission, charge, etc. But how would you answer the question, “What is the goal of the organizational leader?”
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I continue to observe manifestations of how anxiety can lead to a search for security. Even before the current manic anxiety related to the financial crises, but more so now because of it, I have been observing reactivity taking the form of people seeking certitude in a time of uncertainty. But the fact is that security, guarantees, and certitudes are myths. Helen Keller wrote,
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. Faith alone defends.
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Purists of Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) tend to eschew all notions or frameworks of individualistic perspectives to therapy or interpreting families or organizations (like “personality type” or “traits” schemas). They prefer a consistent “systemic” approach that focuses on the system over the particulars of individuals in the system. More weight is to be given to the position and functioning of an individual in a system than on his or her personality because both are more a product of the system than of the individual. By and large I lean toward that perspective, but I think there is something to be said for the capacities that reside in the individual.
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Every once in a while I need to challenge someone by asking, “Do you want to be liked or do you want to be effective?” In one sense it’s a false choice, but in another sense, leaders often will have to make a choice about their function. If the personal need to be liked, affirmed, or appreciated is the primary concern of the leader, effectiveness in how the leader functions in the system will be compromised. For those who choose being popular over being effective, there are five sure ways to accomplish success:
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