A friend has taken on the work of trying to discover his Enneagram number. He�s taken a couple of on-line inventories, but with mixed results. The scores come back �flat�, hinting that he can be any one of three of four types. I told him that�s either a sign that the inventory is flawed, or that he does not yet know enough about what is being asked to answer the questions in a helpful way. I also told him that I�m a bit prejudiced against taking Enneagram inventories to achieve �quick insight� into oneself.
The “traditional” way of working with the Enneagram is with a spiritual director or coach. That person will guide your through asking questions, sharing experiences, etc. And, yes, while it involves reading the material on the Enneagram, I prefer the more traditional Eastern discernment approach than the Western approach of taking an inventory and gaining “instant insight.” You may get your number–and may even get it right, but because you’ve by-passed process you by-pass insight, is my belief. What I�ve observed, however, is that even with inventories, most people seem to need to try a couple of passes before settling on their number/type.
I’ve found that because we are so out of touch with ourselves in terms of self-awareness of the INTERNAL, we have trouble at first discerning our number. In fact, it is common to at first reject our number when we read a description of it. We try to embrace a different number that seems more attractive to us, get stuck and confused, but as we keep working at it we are able to come around and “confess” and recognize our number. It’s an amazing phenomemon.
I myself went through this as I read about all the numbers/types. I first embraced another number as being “me.” Struggled with working at it, then finally, but slowly, discovered my number. I primarily went through a process of getting clearer and clearer about which number described me through a process of elimination and then by being able to “see myself” and confess that, “yeah, that’s me.” The more in touch I got with how I �functioned� emotionally, rather than on how I sometimes behaved, the clearer I was able to get. Even then, for a long time I thought I had one predominant wing and not another, until, sitting around in conversation with others, they were able to quickly point out that I was wrong! They could see what I could not see because I �didn’t want it to be so.” It did not take long for me to realize that they were right, as I was able to focus on my ACTUAL functioning, as opposed to my BELIEFS about my functioning. The new awareness of my level of resistance to embracing the wing that truly described me was rather surprising (and humbling).
I think part of the problem is that the Enneagram is so accurate in describing our strengths AND deficits we resist being described so openly and bluntly. As I tell people, usually I can peg someone when I see them at their worst. That’s because all of the defenses and masks and pseudo-self coping behaviors do not mask the “real” self. Reactivity has a narrow, unimaginative repertoire, so often it�s easy to spot the patterns people fall into when they are anxious and reactive.
Another way to go about discovering your number/type is to have your spouse read the material with you and ask him or her to tell you which one he or she thinks you are. Usually the people close to us can peg us before we can!
