If I only had the nerve…
I would lead a children’s time where I would tell the children to come to the chancel, as I normally do. Then I would tell them, “You know I really have to use the restroom. I’ll back really soon. Don’t tell anyone I left. I’m sure I won’t miss anything.†Then I would exit.
I would then have someone else come and talk to the children about something (haven’t figured that one out yet). Then I would come back and ask the children what I missed and what happened. I would then tell the children, “I’ll do my best to use the restroom before worship so that I can be a part of it and not miss anything. Would you be willing to do the same?†(Of course, some of them may say no or something completely unrelated!)
As you can see, we have an issue with children leaving the service “to go to the bathroom.†And while, it would be interesting to do the above scenario, I don’t think it is the best approach or appropriate for worship. Instead what I will end up doing is a number of things
• Talk to the children one-on-one about using the restroom prior to the service. I’ve already done this with one child. I said something like, “Can we work on this?†She has been doing well since then.
• Encourage parents to take the children to the restroom prior to the service
• Encourage Sunday school teachers to remind the children to go after Sunday school
• Have a “Children in Worship†tidbit each month on our Children and Youth Bulletin Board
• Have a “Children in Worship†tidbit each month in a Christian Education or church newsletter
Of course the issue isn’t really about children going to the restroom during worship. The bigger issue here is teaching our children, their parents, and even other adults about children being in worship. It can be easy to assume that they already know these things, but that is where we err. Just because a church has children in worship, doesn’t mean they know how to do so. Just like other things, being intentional is the key. Now, how each church is intentional varies based upon that particular church.
Will we have fewer children leaving the service, particularly during the sermon, to go to the bathroom? Maybe; maybe not. But, at least we trying to be intentional in our part to teach not only our children, but also our parents and other adults about children in worship.
Children just started to attend worship with the adults last year. (before I came, they all – including the youth – left after the children’s message – which is in the middle of the service) Before they were integrated, we worked with the parents, giving them suggestions on children’s behavior, communion involvement, children’s bulletins, etc. We try to make it clear that we are not looking for a perfect child in worship, nor should they. They were extremely nervous about having their child in worship but learned that the children were just fine. The bathroom does not seem to be the problem for them. They have been good about that.
The children aren’t the problem with us. It’s the adults.
Our problem is getting adults into worship on time. If you can figure out how to teach them that, please let me know. We have tried finishing Sunday school earlier, putting articles in the newsletter, about honoring worship and God with our timeliness, flashing lights in the fellowship area, starting the prelude earlier, putting the announcements at the very beginning, etc. We are now having the ushers hold people back until the first hymn before they enter, once we have uttered the first word.
Maybe there should a children’s message for the parents. 🙂
Thanks, Vanessa; thanks, Linda. Making administrative and programmatic change is easy, bringing about “cultural change” is the hard part. And you’re right, Linda, change comes harder for adults than for children. This is an instance where the children can become the teachers in the community.