This past weekend I headed off with Matthew, my 10 year old son, for a father-son weekend at Camp Piankatank. We’ve been for four years and we always look forward to it. We get to play sports, canoe, swim, practice our archery, swing from the ridiculously high V-Swing (I am afraid of heights) and even sleep for a few hours. The best part is being able to walk around, talk about things going on in our lives, and to share some of how we have changed in the past year. As I was driving down to camp, I thought back to all those years in youth ministry and how the most memorable moments took place when I was spending time with students outside of the regularly scheduled programming. Hanging out after worship, talking at the beach, working in a missions setting together, praying in my office, or just being together and sharing our lives.
How much of what we do as parents, friends, educators, or ministers actually encourages the transformational work of the Holy Spirit? Worship services, Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, and all those meetings have a place in our spiritual growth. But can these regular events provide for all of our growth?
One of the best things about Youth Ministry is people expect you to hang out with the students and to plan events outside of the weekly times of gathering to help youth grow in the their understanding of what it means to be a follower of Christ. As I continue to figure out what a senior pastor is supposed to do, I’m wondering if I’ve got the balance right. Sons and daughters need parents to be with them to hear their stories and to share ours. Youth and children need caring adults to be with them and to share with them the challenge of following Jesus. Adults need this as well, but our church usually only gives them the challenge of staying awake while I preach.
Is the balance right? Do we assume adults understand the need for time away and time to explore their faith with others? Do we spend our time doing what is truly transformational, or is it easier to write the sermon and teach the lesson and go home?
Well, I’ve got a sermon to write…
On the journey together,
Greg
Great thoughts, Greg. One of the best things my former church did to address this issue was an annual family retreat (Friday evening to Sunday afternoon). We’d have between 10 to 15 families, with kids of all ages. The formal programming was all intergenerational—that is, we didn’t separate the children, teens, or adults from each other. In the spirit of intergenerational education “everybody learned the same thing at the same time together.”
But we also provided a LOT of unstructured time for families to spend time TOGETHER as families.
I always encourage that programming approach and opportunity to churches. The first response is always, “Our families won’t go for that.” (A: How do you know if you’ve never offered that before?)
The other response is, “Our families are too busy to go away together for a whole weekend.” (A: That’s exactly WHY you need to offer this to your families.).
There are always 100 “excuses” for why a church does NOT do this kind of thing. None of them are good ones. And truth be told, as is so nicely illustrated in your note, most of our church families are HUNGRY for this opportunity, and they should resent their church for failing to provide it. But, I rant….
I know a couple of Presbyterian Churches did this type of retreat in the Richmond area at Camp Hanover. The intergenerational piece is an important part of this idea. We segregate our learning and other experiences so much in our weekly church activities. Yet there is so much to learn about the journey from those older and younger than ourselves.