A local church educator sent me this e-mail, a common dilemma: “I am in need of some real advice. I have a SS teacher who is in her middle to late 20’s and has been teaching our senior high girls class for two years now, but is very distant from her class. Parents are now complaining to me that she spews out her opinions, but does not allow others to share theirs. The girls are disinterested and some have quit coming to class. There are other issues involved but this is the crux, how do you fire a volunteer without losing them totally?”
My response below:
Well, I suppose my first answer is, “You fire a church volunteer the same way you probably hired her: stop her in the middle of the hallway and invite her to STOP teaching a class.”
It seems obvious that this young lady is not doing a good job, but I don’t know the reason why. And I can guess that it’s not only her class and the parents who are unhappy—she is too. So, what’s the big secret? Don’t you think she doesn’t realize she’s not doing a good job? I don’t understand the reluctance to call her in for some honest conversation.
Whatever is going on probably has less to do with the class or teaching and more to do with her. Is this a lack of maturity? If she’s in her 20s it might just be that she’s just not much more mature than the teenage girls she’s attempting to teach. Is she in pain? In crisis? Then the worst thing you can do is insist she be effective in her teaching. She probably needs to be ministered to. She may need to be encouraged to give attention to whatever is going on in her own life that is causing this behavior. (You mention that “there are other issues involved,” yet you identify the Sunday School situation as “the crux.” My hunch is that the behavior in Sunday School is sympomatic, and the real issue you need to deal with are the “other issues.”)
I find that there are two reasons for people acting the way you describe: (1) they are clueless about their feelings and behavior, or (2) they are being willful about it. If it’s no. 2 then you can be unapologetic in firing the person. If it’s no. 1 then you can help that person become aware of how
she comes across and offer help for change. If she doesn’t want the help, then you can excuse her from her teaching. In my experience, people will thank you for it. Often, that kind of poor performance is a way of acting out to get the attention of a leader in the system to help them get out of a position they themselves are having trouble letting go—for whatever reason.
So, my challenge is, act the leader and take responsibility for what you need to do, and take no responsibility for her feelings or her response. Be redemptive, but be responsible. And follow this rule: “Never be afraid of losing a member because you did the right thing.”
Any other advice or perspectives on this issue from the GRACE members?
