I recently ran into a young married-with-children couple who are of the kind that is very intent on their children’s spiritual formation. During our conversation they shared their belief that Christians shouldn’t teach children about Santa Claus because it may shake their faith later when they learn he’s “not real” and that they’ve been tricked. In addition, as a secular icon, Santa conflicts with the real message of Christmas.
But I’m of the opinion that allowing children to believe in Santa Claus is not detrimental to their Christian faith. Let’s face it; the colorful Madison Avenue figure of Santa Claus created by Coca Cola is a cultural icon that is embedded in our psyche. He is as much a part of our children’s world as Barney, Big Bird, Winnie the Pooh, and the Tooth Fairy.
It’s a puzzle why we encourage our children to “believe” in those other characters, and yet seem so concerned about the possibility that our children’s faith will be damaged by the mythic Santa Claus, a character who has a more authentic Christian pedigree than most other Christmas traditions, including the Christmas tree (which, in contrast, has pagan origins). Don’t forget that the “real” Santa Claus was in fact, the very devout St. Nicholas.
As for the concern about teaching children things that are not entirely true and risking a loss of faith later on, well, let’s just say I’ve got more confidence in the resilience of children’s psyche and of the nature of their faith than to worry about that. Let’s face it, we tell children a LOT of things that are not true: Adam and Eve were “real people,” (it’s mythic literature), Jesus’ birthday is on December 25 (it’s not), Jesus founded the Church (he didn’t, technically), the Bible is a perfect product and therefore a holy object (it isn’t, but it’s still the Word of God), we put the Magi with the shepherds and the baby Jesus on our crèche (they didn’t show up till a year later when Jesus was no longer a baby), and in our worst moments, we tell them about the dire consequences of lying and behaving badly, including that “God will be mad at you” (God won’t be, believe me), or, as my now-grown children tease me when I give an ‘imaginative response’ to a question, “Lying makes baby Jesus cry.”
The truth is that believing in Santa, Barnie, the Tooth Fairy, or that parents can do anything, that teachers know everything, and that God sees everything they do and hears everything they say is a part of children’s spiritual formation. Young children hold a “magical faith” that allows them to believe uncritically about their wonderful world. Children need to believe, they don’t need everything explained, and they won’t be devastated at discovering that what they used to believe is no longer true; that’s a part of our faith development process also. Few eight-year-olds still believe in Santa; no twelve-year-old does. But rather than be devastated by that revelation, they learn the valuable lesson of how to let go of old beliefs and take on new ones—a posture we need to adopt all of our lives if we are to continue to grow spiritually. In their wisdom, kids are able to own that while allowing their smaller siblings to continue “to believe.” Should we allow our children to believe in Santa? Yes! Not only is there no harm in it, but it respects and allows children to live into the nature of their magical thinking at that stage in life.
As someone who was not allowed to believe in Santa Claus I treasure a little magical thinking. And one of my favorite movies is Miracle on 34th Street.
Hey, let’s give Santa Claus a break and look at our faith families. Perhaps we confuse children the most by some of our practices in the church. For example, we (or at least some faith traditions) give children juice and crackers in Sunday School but don’t let our children participate in communion during worship. What does this practice teach about the importance of children being included in the faith community? Would a child not be confused when we give them juice and crackers in one setting at church and then tell them they can’t have juice and crackers in another setting at church?
Do we not also send mixed messages to children when we tell them how important they are to God and to the church family and then pass by them individually in the hallway of the church and not even speak to them? When we do take the time to speak to them do we get down on their level?
Do we confuse children when we so closely tie the conversion experience with baptism and church membership?
What are we teaching our children by the things that we say and do and by the things that we don’t say and do? My guess is that these things(and others) are more confusing and perhaps damaging to faith development than good ole Santa.
Good thoughts, Jeff, thanks. You are correct, of course, we need to be more conscientious about the formative power of experiences in the church community. Children learn (more) from what they experience, not what we tell them. And your observation is a challenging one: children often get a double-message related to their church experience—we tell them they “belong” and are “a part of the church” and yet we exclude them from significant communal practices—often, as you suggest, to the point of ignoring them.