Suggestions for children’s sermons

I recently visited a church in which a staff member did the “children’s sermon” during the morning worship service. It was all I could do to keep from moaning and cringing. This staff member broke all of the “rules” for delivering a children’s sermon. I’ll spare you the gruesome and unfortunate details of the performance, suffice it to say it was one of the best examples I’ve seen of the worst way to do it.

I’m not quite sure about what makes children’s sermons such a universally bad practice in congregations. I suspect a lot of it has to do with two things: (1) a lack of understanding of the developmental characteristics of children, and (2) a lack of a clearly articulated theology of children in the church. A little effort in those two areas can go a long way in helping church leaders and members be more effective in the way they minister to, and with, the children in their congregation.

Here are the suggestions I share with pastors about how to deliver a children’s sermon. There are other concepts and points that can be made, but these address the more egregious sins committed in this regard:

1. Do not use “objects” in your children’s sermons.

Using objects as props in an attempt to use the “object lesson” approach is misguided and inappropriate. Children are concrete thinkers and are unable to think that “one thing is like another.” In their minds an object is what it is, it is not “like” something else. A tree is a tree, an egg is an egg, a key is a key, and a bell is a bell—they are not both a bell and a metaphor for something else. Because children are concrete-operational thinkers, they cannot process symbols deeply, so a cross is a “sign” and not a “symbol.” Baptism is a “sign,” and not a symbol (read Jung if this concept doesn’t make sense to you).

2. Never, ever, begin your children’s sermon with a question.

Beginning your sermon by asking a question:

• Leaves the child confused (like the time a pastor, wearing a robe for Lent, started the children’s sermon by asking, “Who can tell my why I wore this robe today?” Answer: “How the heck should I know?”, or “Because you feel cold?”)
• Insults the child’s intelligence (like the time a person held up a picture of a tree and asked, “Who can tell me what this is?” Answer: “O.k., I’ll play along and pretend I’m too dumb to know and help you out by answering the obvious: ‘It’s a tree!’”)
• Puts the child on the spot. There’s little worse for a child than to be put “on the spot” to come up with the “right” answer—they’ve been dreading that in school all week, and now they have to fear that in church too?! And, of course, they’ve learned by now that the “right answer” is always, “Jesus,” or “God,” which teaches them that faith is uncritical—you don’t really have to think about it, the answer is always, “Jesus.”

3. Don’t focus on concepts; rather, focus on feelings.

A child’s faith world is a world of feelings: happy, hurt, sad, angry, scared, confused, uncertain, excited, feeling safe, loved, cared for—this is what a child “knows.” Children do not know nor are concerned with abstract concepts: redemption, salvation, justice, loyalty, courage, predestination, supralapsarianism, etc. When telling your children’s sermon, focus on feelings—identify them, acknowledge them, illustrate them, talk about them. Other feelings that help children grasp the experience of faith are wonder, awe, delight, anticipation, and thankfulness.

4. When giving a children’s sermon, just tell the STORY!

Children need narrative—the Story—in order to make meaning of their experience and feelings. Your children’s sermon should primarily be a story. When telling the story, TELL THE STORY, do NOT interpret the story for the children! Do not end your children’s sermon by saying, “Now, this means that…”

Children don’t need you to TELL them what something means—they just need the story. Stories let you focus on feelings and wonder (“I wonder how s/he felt when….?”). Do not be concerned about telling a Bible story over and over again—the more familiar the story, the better (this is why children beg parents to read that bedtime book for the 1000th time. They never get tired of it because they NEED the narrative to make meaning).

5. The pastor needs to deliver the children’s sermon.

As with all sermons, the children’s sermon serves a function. One important function of the children’s sermon is to give the children in the church exclusive access to the primary god-figure in their faith communities. For most children in your church, this time with the pastor will be the only time they have an exclusive time with and access to the pastor, their church’s spiritual leader. We tell children that they can pray and go to God any time they need—and yet we teach them that the pastor, the primary god-figure in the church, is not accessible to them. Which do you think they really come to believe? Comments like, “I’m not good at it; my staff member is better at it,” or, “I’m not comfortable around children,” or, “I need to focus on the main sermon” are what I call “excuses.” The bottom line is that the pastor needs to do this because it is a pastoral FUNCTION.

This is not to say that no one else can ever be allowed to give the children’s sermon. On ocassion there may be a good reason for a staff person or even a guest to deliver the children’s sermon. But there should be a good reason (purpose) for it and it should be the exception and not the rule.

6. The children’s sermon is for the children—not for the benefit of the adult audience.

Do not “use” children for the entertainment of the adult congregation. You will only confuse the children, and they will “get it,” that you are not really talking to them—in effect, they know that you are ignoring them and using them rather than talking to them. Theologically and liturgically, using the children’s sermon as a way to communicate with the adults or as a way to entertain them turns them from being a “congregation” to an “audience.”

7. Sit with the children. Do not stand towering over them.

8. Use a conversational tone of voice, but don’t “talk down” to them. Take your cue from Mr. Rogers.

9. End your children’s sermon with prayer.

Teach children the proper posture of reverence for prayer (“Let’s close our eyes, bow our heads, and fold our hands.”). Your prayer should be no more than three sentences long.

10. Don’t be droll or use sarcasm when talking to children.

Young children cannot handle sarcasm. They don’t understand it and are confused by it. When an adult uses sarcasm or tries to be “clever” or “droll” with children it’s an indication that the adult is anxious and more focused on him or herself than on what the children need.

“Never test the depth of the water with both feet.”