We continue the series on basic concepts in Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). Today’s question: Does “thinking triangles” make leadership easier?
I think I’ve given up searching for anything that makes leadership “easier.” By its nature leadership is complex, difficult, and consists of dealing with problems or creating them.
But yes, understanding the dynamics behind triangles can help a leader function better. By understanding triangles I mean, gaining the skill of discerning when you are in one, and identifying what kind of triangle you are in. It means understanding your own tendencies in functioning when you are triangles.
Do you tend to create triangles when you are anxious? Is your tendency to act and react, before thinking, when a triangle forms? Do you have patterns of overfunctioning that tend to get you hooked into triangles? Is your tendency to be seduced into triangles? Do you have overfunctioning tendencies that get you stuck in triangles?
I think understanding ourselves better, and working on our functioning, helps us manage ourselves in triangles better.
From, Perspectives on Congregational Leadership: Applying Systems Theory for Effective Leadership, by Israel Galindo. See the new Perspectives on Congregational Leadership blog site.
As I have learned where my anxiety causes me to overreact, I have been able to see the triangles that I get hooked into. Because of that, I have tried to approach my current role a little differently. I am trying to not get caught in doing more than I should, especially when there are capable people here. I have actually said no to my participation in a couple of projects that the sr minister overfunctioned in before he left. I wouldn’t take over the role that he had with these projects and it caused some anxiety with other people. Some have stepped up but sadly, they also pulled an office staff member into the triangle to have her do “their” work. (i gave her fair warning that this would happen)
This is not to say that I am not overfunctioning now in other triangles and I am reacting to those and currently trying to work on my “stuff” there. Never ending it seems.
Thanks, Israel, for these clear answers to the questions I asked on the teleconference (the recording is still available to anybody who asks for it, by the way). I hope you’ll put all this together into a single article soon!