Category Archives: bowen family systems theory

The myth of confidentiality and the binding triangle

During a recent consultation I tried to help a minister work through some stuckness. He was stuck in what I call a “binding triangle” as a result of falling into the trap of the myth of confidentiality. A church member … Continue reading

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Ministering from the right side of the brain

I’ve been a lifelong doodler. In fact, my college notes look more like sketchbooks than notebooks (and the doodles are the only reason I’ve kept some of my college notes). Even today pencil and paper aren’t far from reach in … Continue reading

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Ministry years

Recently someone started a conversation with me by saying, “You were right.” “What about?” I asked. He explained that he was having a real tough year in ministry. He was experiencing a lot of frustration and restlessness, with periods of … Continue reading

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“The Rules”

Attached is the article notes of a recent presentation titled “The Rules.” The article highlights fifteen “rules” about leadership in the congregational setting. These “derivative rules” are informed by Bowen Family Systems Theory. You can download the article here: galindotherules.pdf … Continue reading

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Shameless self-promotion

An article by Israel Galindo appears in the current issue of Congregations magazine from Alban Institute. The article is titled “What’s Systems Theory Got to Do with It?: Addressing Congregations’ Emotional Processs in Our Preaching.” In it, Galindo says, “The … Continue reading

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Teaching the unteachable

Sometimes I get the nagging suspicion that there may be some things that are “unteachable.” Ironically, those things may be the most important things we want to teach, things like maturity, emotional intelligence, faith, and the usable part of systems … Continue reading

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First and second order change in systems

In the field of community psychology (yes, there is a field of community psychology), the theory of “logical types” and the concepts of first and second order change can help us understanding some aspects of addressing homeostasis in relationship systems. … Continue reading

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Know thyself . . . or not

The idea of self-differentiation has within it the hint of the idea of the necessity to “know thyself.” Evidence of this is the emphases on achieving insight into how we got to be who we are (family of origin work) … Continue reading

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Hacks and professionals

In his book, A Failure of Nerve, Ed Friedman writes about the tendency of ineffective leaders who exhibit the tendency to seek the “quick fix” and the obsession with methods, techniques, and programs rather than engage in the hard work … Continue reading

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Selective hearing

I recently was asked to respond to an alumnus (a pastor of a church) about his displeasure over the choice of the seminary’s new president-elect. I was asked to respond as someone who had been a member of the now-defunct … Continue reading

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