We continue the series on basic concepts in Bowen Family Systems Theory. Today’s question: What are common triangles in a church and organizational life?
The list can be almost endless:
- Pastor-spouse-and pick-the-issue (matter of calling, family of origin issues, finances, etc.)
- Pastor-children-church
- Pastor-family of origin-issues related to calling
- Pastor-staff-congregation
- Pastor-deacons-vision for the church
- Pastor-staff person-another staff person
- Pastor-vision-congregational resistance to change
- Pastor-denomination-congregation
- Pastor-family of origin-issue of relationships with church members.
- And, one of my favorites: Pastor-the position of leader-former pastor who refuses to leave the church.
Triangles are endemic. Add your own to the list.
From, Perspectives on Congregational Leadership: Applying Systems Theory for Effective Leadership, by Israel Galindo. See the new Perspectives on Congregational Leadership blog site.
pastor-program-congregational support is another one.
reminds me of your posting a while back on program proliferation. some programs need to be revisited and examined with how much time the pastor puts into the planning and lack of congregational support, involvement, impact, etc…
Today at Duke we talked about all relational triangles have: a victim, a persecutor, and a rescuer i.e. Victim (child #1) “Mom (rescuer), Jon (persecutor) hit me!” Mom, ” What do you want me to do?” Victim, “Make him stop.” If Mom “bites” then the triangle shifts: Mom (becomes persecutor) “Jon (now the victim), why did you hit your brother? You’re grounded for a week.” Father (Rescuer), “Honey weren’t you a little hard on Jon?” etc. etc. I had never looked at how triangles perpetuate and morph this way before, interesting take.