I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been consulting with several clergy who are contemplating leaving their ministry settings. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not unusual for these consultations to come in waves, and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s always interesting that they do. It seems that issues, crises, and topics have their seasons. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve not yet learned to read the signs in the wind or in the patterns of the clouds to know how to anticipate when that phenomenon happens, I just accept that these things \u00e2\u20ac\u0153come in threes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d as they say—or fives or sixes.<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve heard from maternity unit nurses that they experience the same phenomenon—things are quiet for a spell and, then, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a little serial population explosion. And when I managed a funeral home it was the same: all quiet for a while and then St. Peter seemed to throw open the Pearly Gates and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d get a string of calls. I sometimes wondered if there was a correlation between the infant population explosion and the exit of souls from the planet. Somebody ought to do a study on that.<\/p>\n
As I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve observed clergy working through the issues of leaving their congregations I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve noticed some common issues. Whether the clergy are leaving under duress or because they feel stirrings of restlessness, certain issues seem common to the nature of leaving regardless of the circumstances. Leaving a congregation involves the murky process of discernment, and clarity rarely comes instantly or easily. In many cases I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve witnessed clergy who have left their congregations emotionally before they began thinking consciously about leaving. <\/p>\n
In most cases the discernment process involves getting clear about what counts as something to factor into the decision and what can be dismissed as inconsequential. In the early stages of discernment that is not easy to do. At those stages everything seems as important as everything else and so the feeling is one of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153being stuck.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n
There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no shortcut to the discernment process. Primarily because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s as much an emotional process as it is an intellectual one. In fact, in my experience, rationality rarely is of real significance in decisions about staying or leaving, as much as we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to believe otherwise. If it were as simple as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153doing the math\u00e2\u20ac\u009d we wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have as much trouble reaching a point of decision, nor experience as much angst as we do. <\/p>\n
While there is no shortcut to discernment about leaving a congregation, and insight comes in its own time, here are some points of consideration related to the issues I see common when trying to leave well. These aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t easy, for they are often contrary to how most clergy seem to approach the issue:<\/p>\n
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I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been consulting with several clergy who are contemplating leaving their ministry settings. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not unusual for these consultations to come in waves, and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s always interesting that they do. It seems that issues, crises, and topics have their seasons. … Continue reading