<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Preparation for Christmas means anticipation, which is, of course, the spirit of Advent. Right around this time I start to get all sorts of kitsch e-mails about Christmas. You know them, you probably see them every year: animated “Christmas cards” with music, Santa jokes, lists of fractured Christmas hymns titles, etc. Sometimes there’s so much of it that at one point my response is ho-hum and bah-humbug. But it’s early in the season and they’re just starting to come in. My sister sent me this version of “fractured hymn titles,” and it gave me a chuckle. We haven’t got enough blog entries under the “humor” category, and that’s a shame. So, here, in jolly anticipation, are “Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged”:<\/p>\n
1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear? <\/p>\n
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are <\/p>\n
3. Amnesia — I Don’t Know if I’ll be Home for Christmas <\/p>\n
4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me <\/p>\n
5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 Fire Hydrants<\/p>\n
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me <\/p>\n
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire <\/p>\n
8. Full Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why <\/p>\n
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells … <\/p>\n
10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t leave My House <\/p>\n
11. Senile Dementia — Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe <\/p>\n
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House.<\/p>\n
Blessed Advent!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Preparation for Christmas means anticipation, which is, of course, the spirit of Advent. Right around this time I start to get all sorts of kitsch e-mails about Christmas. You know them, you probably see them every year: animated “Christmas cards” … Continue reading