{"id":1559,"date":"2009-06-30T00:46:36","date_gmt":"2009-06-30T04:46:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/?p=1559"},"modified":"2009-12-28T18:18:37","modified_gmt":"2009-12-28T22:18:37","slug":"back-to-basics-the-triangle-6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/archives\/1559","title":{"rendered":"Back to basics: The Triangle 6"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We continue the series on basic concepts in Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). Today\u2019s question: What suggestions do you have for pastoral leaders for seeing triangles more clearly? What about how they manage themselves in the inevitable triangles?<!--more--><\/p>\n<p><strong>Assume that whenever you are speaking with someone in your congregation you are in a triangle. <\/strong>That just comes by virtue of your position in the system. As pastor and leader in the system, that\u2019s a given. Nothing is ever about \u201cjust\u201d you and the person. Most of our congregational member relate to us primarily on the basis on our position or role in the congregation: \u201cpastor,\u201d \u201crabbi,\u201d \u201cpriest.\u201d Few will ever relate to us on a personal individual level. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Memorize the seven laws of emotional triangles<\/strong> found in Friedman&#8217;s Generation to Generation, and work at being able to recognize the dynamics when you see them. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Learn to discern how you personally experience triangles<\/strong>\u2014some experience them through feelings, others more cerebral. Feeling-oriented persons may experience triangles as \u201cfeeling trapped,\u201d or, conversely, as flattering seduction.   The cerebral types may experience a triangle as becoming confused, for example. If you can learn to become aware of your own manner of reacting to triangles you can identify early when you are in one.<\/p>\n<p>If you find yourself stuck trying to figure out what is going on, then <strong>take out a pencil and paper and diagram.<\/strong> Diagramming moves you into your cerebral cortex and allows you to gain perspective by separating thinking from feeling. When you diagram you\u2019ll be able to identify the triangles, their nature, and the dynamics at play. <\/p>\n<p>From, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0971576572\/ref=s9_simp_gw_s0_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&#038;pf_rd_s=center-2&#038;pf_rd_r=0TH88VN3TPD0RM78WTES&#038;pf_rd_t=101&#038;pf_rd_p=470938631&#038;pf_rd_i=507846\">Perspectives on Congregational Leadership: Applying Systems Theory for Effective Leadership<\/a>, by Israel Galindo. See the new <a href=\"http:\/\/perspectivesig.blogspot.com\/\">Perspectives on Congregational Leadership blog<\/a> site.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.galindoconsultants.com\"><img src='http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2007\/11\/galindobanner5.jpg' alt='galindoconsultants.com' \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We continue the series on basic concepts in Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST). Today\u2019s question: What suggestions do you have for pastoral leaders for seeing triangles more clearly? What about how they manage themselves in the inevitable triangles?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,37,22,27],"tags":[91,133,42,269],"class_list":["post-1559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bowen-family-systems-theory","category-congregational-life","category-leadership","category-personal-growth","tag-bfst","tag-bowen-systems-theory","tag-israel-galindo","tag-leadership"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1559"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1762,"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559\/revisions\/1762"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/grace-ed.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}