Lately I’ve had occasion to appreciate again the power of the past to influence the present. What is amazing to me is how much of that influence operates below people’s awareness, and how powerful that influence is on systemic homeostasis and patterns within systems.
[Read more...]
I recently heard again the pragmatist question “So what’s it good for?” related to systems theory. It’s a natural question whenever matters of theory arise. The best answer, of course, is that it’s a theory and therefore not really good for anything in the pragmatist sense. That is, it’s not very utilitarian. It’s a tool for thinkers not tinkerers.
[Read more...]
For ministers, and aspiring ministers, who embrace that part of their calling involves service to others, self-denial, and self-sacrifice, investing in self-care can be a challenge. Whatever its source, feelings of obligation, guilt, or shame; or a lacking sense of boundaries, clergy seem prone to a high risk of burnout related to a lack of self care. There’s no denying that ministry is complex, and therefore, endlessly busy, but those clergy and staff who fail to practice self care fail themselves and their congregations.
[Read more...]
I’ve experienced the third instance in recent months of a classic pastoral triangle. It’s “classic” in the sense that it has all of the components of an “elegant” emotional process triangle: (1) it is generated by anxiety, (2) its source is family of origin relationships, (3) it is directed at the pastoral leader, (4) its content obfuscates emotional process, and, (5) it invites reactivity.
[Read more...]
I received an interesting question about Bowen’s concept of self-differentiation. The question, an imaginative one, was “what if” some day scientists discovered a “differentiation gene.” It was fun to ponder, but, genes don’t work that way. More to the point, however, differentiation is a product of relationships in a system, the evidence of which is how one functions. If we were to go down the gene therapy route, or more specifically, the biological engineering route related to BFST, then a more likely focus would be how to lower anxiety. And we already have medication for that.
[Read more...]
One misunderstanding about basic concepts of Bowen Family Systems theory has to do with assigning value statements. For example, the notion that overfunctioning is “bad.” Overfunctioning, like other behaviors are not “bad” or “good,” they are merely functions, symptoms, or manifestations of emotional process played out in the way people relate to one another. This is why it’s more helpful to observe function in the system than it is to assign motives to people’s behaviors.
[Read more...]
Self-differentiation is all about functioning. One manifestation of the extent to which one is functioning in a self-differentiated manner is how well one can separate feeling from thinking. I recently consulted with a normally steady and effective staff person who found herself stuck on a particular issue. In this case she knew the right thing to do, and was able to quote the company guidelines that needed to direct her action, yet, she was second guessing herself.
[Read more...]
I was intrigued by overhearing a common phrase last week. Overheard several times was the phrase, “I don’t want to do that.” It’s a common enough phrase (anyone who has ever had a three or four year old around the house has heard a variation of that uttered hundreds of times). What intrigued me was that while the content was the same, the context and source related to where and who uttered that phrase made a world of difference. It was a good example of the importance of focusing on process and not content.
[Read more...]
I received an e-mail from a friend who has been studying Bowen Family Systems Theory (BFST) for the past few years. He has been reading the literature, asking good questions, and at one point sought out a therapist to serve as a “systems coach.” In his email he expressed desire to continue studying, and his question hinted that he’s hit a plateau in his learning—not uncommon in any learning enterprise.
[Read more...]