Are you a positive listener?

Listening to your learners means more than just hearing the words they use. Being a positive listeners takes skill and like every helpful teaching skill, requires practice. Test yourself to determine if you are a positive listener:

1. Do you give your learners undivided attention when they are talking to you?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

2. While listening, do you maintain good eye contact?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

3. Do you make sure you have enough time to listen when your learner approaches with a problem or question?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

4. Do you clear your mind of all distraction so you can be fully present to your learner?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

5. As you listen, do you empathize with your learner and try to understand what they mean?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

6. Do you let your learners finish what they are saying before you give input?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

7. As a listener, do you convey acceptance of your learner regardless of their manner of speaking or choice of words—even if you don’t agree with them?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

8. Do you resist the temptation to stop listening when you can anticipate what a learner is about to say?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

9. As a listener, do you remain non-judgmental?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

10. Do you make sure your learners know you are listening by smiling, nodding your head, or giving some other acknowledgments?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

11. When appropriate, do you feed back of reflect what they are feeling so they know you understand?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

12. Do you remain separate from the problem, trusting the learner is his or her own best problem-solver?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

13. Do you genuinely want to help you learners?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

14. As you listen, do you suspend your own thoughts and feelings in order to “be present” to your learner?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

15. As you listen, do you try to make yourself aware of God’s presence in the life of your learner?

• Yes
• No
• Sometimes

RATING:
12-14 yeses: Good work!
7-11 yeses: Keep practicing
0-6 yeses: Take a class on listening!

The following three characteristics can help enhance your listening skills:

Empathy

This happens when listeners feel what the other person is feeling. Empathy means vicariously experiencing what the other person is going through without losing your self in the other person’s stuff and inability to cope with his or her feelings.

Acceptance:

Exhibiting this trait lets your learners be exactly who they are at the moment. Acceptance doesn’t demand people to be different than who they are or how they feel at the moment.

Genuineness:

With this characteristic the listener is required to reveal his or her own internal experience. In other words, positive listening involves transparency, honesty, and the willingness to reveal oneself.