Family Systems in an unlikely place

On a recent trip to my local library, I checked out Suze Orman’s The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom in an effort to better learn about investing. So, I opened the book and started to read; the first chapter had nothing to do with how to budget, save, invest, etc. Instead it was about family systems!

Well, she didn’t actually use the wording, “Family Systems”, but this is what it was. The concept was to look back into one’s life and family of origin to discover how “money” had been taught and used. One of the first exercises she has the reader do is to recall he/her very first memory of money. What did he/she learn about money? From whom was this learned? At what age was this learned? What was the overall lesson for this experience that has carried into his/her adult life?

It is my experience that money is one of those issues that has a great hold on many people in our congregation. However, instead of exploring the deeper issues and results of money, we keep it on a surface level of how it affects the church in terms of stewardship (tithes and offering), and fundraising for youth, missions, buildings, etc. While giving to the church is important, for some, only talking about money in how it affects the church is kind of a band aid approach to a much deeper cut.

What would it look like to lead our adults on the journey into the real issues at hand that has its roots in their families of origin? Or to lead our senior high youth down a similar path before they go to college and/or start their careers? (Most young people today accumulate major debt those first few years out of high school.)

Sure some would resist – it is hard work to deal with one’s stuff. But, for those who are committed to working at it, this can be like “releasing the captives” and “setting the prisoner free.”

I was refreshingly surprised that this book deals with money in regards to “family systems”. Now, if we could only do it in our congregations too!

Vanessa M. Ellison