The points where this passage connected with me are related to experiences over the past several months, in several contexts:

For example, my May term class was a teaching practicum. Students were required to teach a lesson for which they were assessed and graded for their performance.. Early in the course I needed to help students discern that there’s a difference between critique and criticism. So many of them could not handle being critiqued, or offer critique, because they either experienced it as criticism, or they were afraid of being perceived as “critical.” But the nature of learning in that context required receiving honest critique about one’s performance.

Another instance had to do with naming bad behavior as such. No system is helped when folks who act irresponsibly or badly are not held accountable for their poor behavior. I don’t understand people’s hesitancy to do so, especially leaders. You don’t have to question people’s motives for behaving badly, you just have to name it. Even my sons were able to tell folks “You’re acting like a jerk. Stop it,” when they were in their teens. I’m puzzled that adults can’t tell other adults, “You are behaving irresponsibly. Cut it out.”

Speaking honestly to one another is, as Bonhoeffer hints, a form of grace. That honestly is a dimension of intimacy that builds and sustains community. We are all the poorer when we withhold it. Paul, of course, provides the corrective of speaking the truth in love.People love to talk about community, not too many seem willing to do what it takes to foster it.

Your thoughts?